He makes riding 100 mile per hour winds seem kinda fun.
Neither Old Nor New, Just Simply True
16 years ago
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Ike!
Hurricane Ike has been battering the Texan coast for a couple of hours now. For us up here in Calgary we're blessed by the rocky mountains (and lack of any shores) that shield us from hurricanes. Which is kinda sad depending how you look at it. Check out this picture I found of some dude in Galveston, Texas.
He makes riding 100 mile per hour winds seem kinda fun.
He makes riding 100 mile per hour winds seem kinda fun.
Challenged Drivers
I’ve done quite a bit of driving over the course of the summer. On a few occasions, I drove from Calgary, AB to Kelowna, BC return. That’s about 700 km each way. Needless to say, one would expect to see all kinds of drivers over the course of the expeditions. Some are fast. I’ve seen 18 wheelers zip along the Trans-Canada at 150+ km/h. I’ve seen motorcycles zigzag through traffic, including taking advantage of such areas as: the right shoulder, the left shoulder, on the lane divider, and so on. Good job guys, keep it up!
I’ve also seen extremely slow drivers. Slow driving is fine, and safe. Then how on earth do these people mess that up? People take it too far and create hazards. I’ve seen the flow of traffic going at about 120 km/h, and there’d be somebody driving at 80 km/h. The roads were busy. While coming around a bend, cars had to nearly swerve to avoid a collision.
So far, I’ve talked about driving habits that aren’t very correctable. I’m going to talk to you about some typical driving mistakes, and how to deal with them in an extremely effective manner.
1) The Lingering Signal Light
These people are probably listening to their music while chatting on their iPhones while adjusting the radio and eating a soy burger at the same time. Or they can be old men, ears beat out from the 70s, sitting there oblivious to the incessant tick-tock of the signal light. (Hi, Dad)
The Solution: Kindly pass them, and then get in front of them. Next, turn on your signal light in the right direction for 10 seconds. Change to the left signal light for 10 seconds. Now back again. Repeat.
Eventually, the old man will think: “What is this guy doing, is he dumb?” Then just to make sure, he will check his own dashboard, and realize what a goober he is.
2) The Fast Lane Slow Driver
This person is probably driving the speed limit, or even slightly above it. They probably have some shitty sticker on their bumper. They figure they are driving fast enough to be in the fast lane. After all, compared to the speed limit, they are going slightly higher than recommended. Forget that there is a lineup of 50 cars behind them in the fast lane, wanting to drive faster. This guy doesn’t feel like moving.
At this point, people will either pass him on the left (subjecting themselves to opposing traffic), or pass on the right (assuming a slow right lane is present and unoccupied. Right shoulder passing maneuvers are strongly discouraged)
The Solution: Kindly pass them, and then get in front of them. Next, slow down to about 10 km/h slower than them. This will make them think: “What is this asshole doing? This is the fast lane, and I’m driving fast.” Then, he will realize his mistake, and pull over to the proper, slow lane, and hopefully head home and never drive again.
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Stick to these rules and you’ll start to see impressive results. Note: Some people might get mad at you. Don’t worry about this; you’ll probably never see them again. And if you do, you can explain to them why they are sadly subpar in their driving skills. Now how do we deal with people that speed up when being passed, tailgaters, people that sit way too close to their steering wheels, people that haul a bunch of untethered junk on their cars, people that yield in a merge lane….?
I’ve also seen extremely slow drivers. Slow driving is fine, and safe. Then how on earth do these people mess that up? People take it too far and create hazards. I’ve seen the flow of traffic going at about 120 km/h, and there’d be somebody driving at 80 km/h. The roads were busy. While coming around a bend, cars had to nearly swerve to avoid a collision.
So far, I’ve talked about driving habits that aren’t very correctable. I’m going to talk to you about some typical driving mistakes, and how to deal with them in an extremely effective manner.
1) The Lingering Signal Light
These people are probably listening to their music while chatting on their iPhones while adjusting the radio and eating a soy burger at the same time. Or they can be old men, ears beat out from the 70s, sitting there oblivious to the incessant tick-tock of the signal light. (Hi, Dad)
The Solution: Kindly pass them, and then get in front of them. Next, turn on your signal light in the right direction for 10 seconds. Change to the left signal light for 10 seconds. Now back again. Repeat.
Eventually, the old man will think: “What is this guy doing, is he dumb?” Then just to make sure, he will check his own dashboard, and realize what a goober he is.
2) The Fast Lane Slow Driver
This person is probably driving the speed limit, or even slightly above it. They probably have some shitty sticker on their bumper. They figure they are driving fast enough to be in the fast lane. After all, compared to the speed limit, they are going slightly higher than recommended. Forget that there is a lineup of 50 cars behind them in the fast lane, wanting to drive faster. This guy doesn’t feel like moving.
At this point, people will either pass him on the left (subjecting themselves to opposing traffic), or pass on the right (assuming a slow right lane is present and unoccupied. Right shoulder passing maneuvers are strongly discouraged)
The Solution: Kindly pass them, and then get in front of them. Next, slow down to about 10 km/h slower than them. This will make them think: “What is this asshole doing? This is the fast lane, and I’m driving fast.” Then, he will realize his mistake, and pull over to the proper, slow lane, and hopefully head home and never drive again.
------------------------------------------------------------------
Stick to these rules and you’ll start to see impressive results. Note: Some people might get mad at you. Don’t worry about this; you’ll probably never see them again. And if you do, you can explain to them why they are sadly subpar in their driving skills. Now how do we deal with people that speed up when being passed, tailgaters, people that sit way too close to their steering wheels, people that haul a bunch of untethered junk on their cars, people that yield in a merge lane….?
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Welcome future drop outs!
With the weather being so nice, I've been walking outside. Something that will soon become impossible with the coming Calgary winter. During one of these walks, I came across a big banner that's hanging between Mac Hall and Science Theaters. “Welcome Future Alumni." Are you kidding me? I remember during my orientation, first year, back eons ago when I used to be young lad, a speech that was given by the dean of the university. (I still don't know his name, the guy with the beard) He specifically said more than 60% of you guys will not be with us next year. We here at university of Calgary have a 60% drop out rate of first years! Now I'm not much in to stats, it was one of my least favorite classes, but that's an awfully large number. So it's amusing to see how optimistic the university is when it comes to their first years. What this means for first years, is that if university was a game they would have a 60% chance of losing. Or if it was a coin and they were to flip it 10 times, it would show “get the hell out of our university” six times. Those odds suck. They suck more than the odds you get at the casinos.
...But I like it. There are a lot of people who manage to crack through the flawed high school/day care system. People who think it's still cool to not care about their classes, or act like they HAVE to be here. filter them out. I like having an extra chair to put my foot on during classes.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
The fort.
School has started and we're working at full capacity here at the fort. Cause of that I personally haven't had a chance to sit down and think about something meaningful to rant about. For the past two days I've been going through my first classes and becoming familiar with my final four courses. Everything else has been pretty quiet here. We're still looking to develop the desolate empty space between my quarter and Armen's. All that we have right now is a chair (very uncomfortable), a coffee table, two end tables and a TV with no cable. I honestly would be very surprised if I see that TV turned on at any point during my stay.
As far as our kitchen goes, I think we're pretty lucky. For the first time since I've moved out, I've had the pleasure of living in a place that comes with a dishwasher. I'm also very proud to see how clean and tidy our kitchen has been for the past week.
This is the fort. More the come
As far as our kitchen goes, I think we're pretty lucky. For the first time since I've moved out, I've had the pleasure of living in a place that comes with a dishwasher. I'm also very proud to see how clean and tidy our kitchen has been for the past week.
This is the fort. More the come
Sunday, September 7, 2008
The Most Powerful Word
The Most Powerful Word in Any Language
Every language has it. Modern civilization and society are built upon it. Having the ability to express remorse for wrong doing has profound implications. There is a universal need for the concept of “sorry”. In fact, many languages can express this one idea in many different ways. Sorry, excuse me, pardon me, forgive me, my apologies, and so on.
This situation begs the question – why bother with this word? Why is it so ubiquitous? The answer is simple: it is one of the features of humans (through our invention of language) that allows us to cooperate on an ongoing basis.
There are many situations where us, and our ancestors, have perhaps done something by accident, thereby wrong-doing some other person. Most of the time, we didn’t intend for somebody else to get hurt. Or, we had no other choice. Our way of dealing with these unfortunate occurrences is to use a universal signal of regret.
Imagine, for a minute, that if you had done something wrong, and you knew it was wrong after the fact, and you could not apologize for what you did? If you accidentally step on a person’s foot, you can say nothing. If you accidentally cut somebody off in traffic, you cannot give the “sorry wave”. If you accidentally let a door shut in your friends face, you cannot say sorry.
“Sorry” gives us the opportunity to rectify the situation. It shows that we are aware of what happened, we realize it was wrong, and that we regret that it happened. It is built into our nature to respond positively to apologies. In society as a whole, we accept apologies and give forgiveness. This is a mutually beneficial situation, as the actor (the apologizer) and the victim (the forgiver) both end up better off. The apologizer can clear his conscience knowing that he has done the right thing, and the forgiver is able to understand that the apologizer sincerely regrets the situation.
By this point, most people would agree that apologies are a necessary part of society. But this leads us into another question – should parents apologize to their children?
It is well known that children model their parents, and inherit characteristic attributes and mannerisms of their parents. Children look to their parents to show them how to act.
Some people argue that because of this very fact, parents shouldn’t apologize to their children under any circumstance. By apologizing, you are admitting fault. How can one expect children to model their parents if they are “faulty?” You must portray an image of perfection and infallibility to your children. That way, they will respect you and consider you as a leader and a role model.
I argue that apologies must be given when warranted. Respect isn’t something that can be demanded, only earned. By not reciprocating apologies to your children, you are showing them, the children you love, that you do not respect them enough to apologize. Children embody their parents, and even take on positive and negative attributes. How can you expect your child to grow up to be a courteous, apologetic individual if you do not apologize to him yourself? Children need to realize that even their parents can be wrong at times, and apologizing is the right thing to do if a wrongdoing was committed, regardless of who the victim was.
In the event that I am wrong, I will not hesitate to apologize to my children. Only then will they respect me as I respect them.
Every language has it. Modern civilization and society are built upon it. Having the ability to express remorse for wrong doing has profound implications. There is a universal need for the concept of “sorry”. In fact, many languages can express this one idea in many different ways. Sorry, excuse me, pardon me, forgive me, my apologies, and so on.
This situation begs the question – why bother with this word? Why is it so ubiquitous? The answer is simple: it is one of the features of humans (through our invention of language) that allows us to cooperate on an ongoing basis.
There are many situations where us, and our ancestors, have perhaps done something by accident, thereby wrong-doing some other person. Most of the time, we didn’t intend for somebody else to get hurt. Or, we had no other choice. Our way of dealing with these unfortunate occurrences is to use a universal signal of regret.
Imagine, for a minute, that if you had done something wrong, and you knew it was wrong after the fact, and you could not apologize for what you did? If you accidentally step on a person’s foot, you can say nothing. If you accidentally cut somebody off in traffic, you cannot give the “sorry wave”. If you accidentally let a door shut in your friends face, you cannot say sorry.
“Sorry” gives us the opportunity to rectify the situation. It shows that we are aware of what happened, we realize it was wrong, and that we regret that it happened. It is built into our nature to respond positively to apologies. In society as a whole, we accept apologies and give forgiveness. This is a mutually beneficial situation, as the actor (the apologizer) and the victim (the forgiver) both end up better off. The apologizer can clear his conscience knowing that he has done the right thing, and the forgiver is able to understand that the apologizer sincerely regrets the situation.
By this point, most people would agree that apologies are a necessary part of society. But this leads us into another question – should parents apologize to their children?
It is well known that children model their parents, and inherit characteristic attributes and mannerisms of their parents. Children look to their parents to show them how to act.
Some people argue that because of this very fact, parents shouldn’t apologize to their children under any circumstance. By apologizing, you are admitting fault. How can one expect children to model their parents if they are “faulty?” You must portray an image of perfection and infallibility to your children. That way, they will respect you and consider you as a leader and a role model.
I argue that apologies must be given when warranted. Respect isn’t something that can be demanded, only earned. By not reciprocating apologies to your children, you are showing them, the children you love, that you do not respect them enough to apologize. Children embody their parents, and even take on positive and negative attributes. How can you expect your child to grow up to be a courteous, apologetic individual if you do not apologize to him yourself? Children need to realize that even their parents can be wrong at times, and apologizing is the right thing to do if a wrongdoing was committed, regardless of who the victim was.
In the event that I am wrong, I will not hesitate to apologize to my children. Only then will they respect me as I respect them.
Posters
One of the more memorable moments of living in residence was moving-in and moving-out. When you're moving-in you're excited about the year ahead of you, the people you will meet and the things you will learn. This excitement, at least for me, helped cope with the back breaking labor that comes with actually moving in. Moving boxing up and down stairs, pushing shopping carts and hooking up your computer is no cake walk. However no deadlines, and being able to crowd your room at a steady pace through out the year helps with the whole process. Moving out on the other hand is another story. Within 24 hour of your last final exam, you're responsible for returning your room the way you received it, dismantling eight months worth of decoration. Having to say goodbye to the room can be heartbreaking and is usually followed by the realization of how you will most likely misplace half your stuff, break a couple of things and ruin all your posters.
For these reasons alone, in the past two years I have followed a strict policy of living light. The policy itself is very simple, move in all the stuff you need and leave behind what you don't. As simple as it might sound there is a slippery slope when it comes to deciding what is necessarily and what is not. For examples, my xbox and playstation 2 are unnecessary, therefor I don't take them out of storage. Old notes, binders and textbooks are unnecessary, therefore they stay behind. Things like printer, laptop and winter clothing are necessary so every year when I move in, they'll participate in my academic quest. But other stuff like the TV, or my monitor ( I've been using a laptop instead of a desktop for a while now) fall in between.
Moving in to Fort McMorley however changed everything. Such a move had to be accompanied by a new and revised edition of the policy. This time around I turned my strictly light policy to a more lenient one. However one of the things I kept on the unnecessarily pile regardless, were posters. They're a bitch to take off and a pain to pack. They don't fit in any sized box and are prone to being damaged. With that in mind it was decided that my walls will be kept naked and my four month stay in Fort McMorley will be a poster-less one. Until I saw this:
It was love at first sight. Not love in a sense of how I would love to be hitting up this chick. But in a sense of how this one image was encompassing all the themes to my university life. Explaining all the aspects of how that is so, would result in a very long post. Someone who knows me very well however would agree that this poster was made with me in mind. When I first saw it, I knew this poster was not like other posters. Of all the unnecessaries, this poster would be a necessary. A sense of one-nites(sp?) was formed and I knew I should get it. But no matter how relevant and perfect it was, it was still a poster. I was split between showing a weakness of character by flip-flopping on my own promise to myself or sticking to my no poster policy. I decided to let it go. I said to myself, if tomorrow, I still feel the way I do today, I will buy it. I walked away...
For these reasons alone, in the past two years I have followed a strict policy of living light. The policy itself is very simple, move in all the stuff you need and leave behind what you don't. As simple as it might sound there is a slippery slope when it comes to deciding what is necessarily and what is not. For examples, my xbox and playstation 2 are unnecessary, therefor I don't take them out of storage. Old notes, binders and textbooks are unnecessary, therefore they stay behind. Things like printer, laptop and winter clothing are necessary so every year when I move in, they'll participate in my academic quest. But other stuff like the TV, or my monitor ( I've been using a laptop instead of a desktop for a while now) fall in between.
Moving in to Fort McMorley however changed everything. Such a move had to be accompanied by a new and revised edition of the policy. This time around I turned my strictly light policy to a more lenient one. However one of the things I kept on the unnecessarily pile regardless, were posters. They're a bitch to take off and a pain to pack. They don't fit in any sized box and are prone to being damaged. With that in mind it was decided that my walls will be kept naked and my four month stay in Fort McMorley will be a poster-less one. Until I saw this:
It was love at first sight. Not love in a sense of how I would love to be hitting up this chick. But in a sense of how this one image was encompassing all the themes to my university life. Explaining all the aspects of how that is so, would result in a very long post. Someone who knows me very well however would agree that this poster was made with me in mind. When I first saw it, I knew this poster was not like other posters. Of all the unnecessaries, this poster would be a necessary. A sense of one-nites(sp?) was formed and I knew I should get it. But no matter how relevant and perfect it was, it was still a poster. I was split between showing a weakness of character by flip-flopping on my own promise to myself or sticking to my no poster policy. I decided to let it go. I said to myself, if tomorrow, I still feel the way I do today, I will buy it. I walked away...
Thursday, September 4, 2008
IT crushes dreams
IT crushes dreams, grinds it to bits, burns it to dust and then takes a dump on it. It's not surprising to see IT's regarded as one of the most stressful careers in North America. Every years thousands of Americans waste best years of their lives learning the trade, all in hope of a stable and safe career. They spend endless hours behind computers, tweaking settings and trial'n erroring random tricks just to make it work. After all the router juggling and RAM installing, when a hire-able level of ITness is reached, they move from college labs to company cubicles. Here begins an exciting journey of more sitting, tweaking, installing, juggling and trial'n erroring. However this time around their work is no longer like the assignments they got in school. It no longer consist of company x wanting to set up an extensive network of computers, servers, printer, scanner and other office worthy gadgets. But instead it's endless hours of sitting around waiting for the dumb secretary up front to forget her password or the old fart up in management wanting to go over why he shouldn't download “The Cool Aquarium Screen Saver” he got in his email... for the 500th time. The complexity and challenge of IT work diminishes as days go by. Dumb secretaries finally learn how to remember a password and the old fart management guys give up on their computers all together. What you're left with is your life withering away in front of a computer. Arguing why IT budgets should not be cut becomes your only ever improving skill. You can no longer carry a conversation with a woman cause it's a fact that IT workers never get ass and have to resort to Japanese anime for any form of female interaction (maybe not even that). You also can never get over the fact that being in IT does not have the “panty-dropping” feel that comes with being a software engineers. Something you could have been, and probably would have been great at it too.
Which brings me to my other point. If your company is blessed by an engineering division you're worse off. Although the idea that working with engineers results in less argument and headache might seem natural the opposite becomes your reality. These self righteous group of tinker-heads tend to look down upon anyone who didn't spend half a semester in college designing hammers. They refuse to accept that they're mortals and prone to mistakes and god forbids if someone knows something that they don't. They sit behind computers thinking “I'm an engineer, I can do no wrong , check out this email I'm going to send, I'll make sure I'll send it to everyone on the network, I will load it up with pictures of my friends wedding, 114 megabytes? That doesn't sound like a lot. Send.” Then you see your Friday night change from going out with friends to sitting in your cubical and cleaning mess up. One thing engineers are great at is standing behind you and breathing down your neck while you try and remove the virus they unleashed on their computers. Huffin, puffin, and making snarky comments like “well the virus scan YOU installed on the computers should have detected it.” or “ we spend so much on IT every year, how can YOU guys let something like this happen?” Life is great.
Then it hits you, somewhere between the time you're banging your head against a wall or grinding your teeth, that you should have listened to your wise and brilliant friend. He warned you of the black hole that is IT. He told you “ Armen, IT work crushes dreams, stay way”. Now he owns a multi-million dollar software development company and you're stuck installing RAM. He spends nights with his many girlfriends on his 11 million dollar yacht, looping around the Caribbeans while you spend your nights rebooting servers and mopping the floor. IT work crushes dreams, stay away.
-Reza Shirazian
Which brings me to my other point. If your company is blessed by an engineering division you're worse off. Although the idea that working with engineers results in less argument and headache might seem natural the opposite becomes your reality. These self righteous group of tinker-heads tend to look down upon anyone who didn't spend half a semester in college designing hammers. They refuse to accept that they're mortals and prone to mistakes and god forbids if someone knows something that they don't. They sit behind computers thinking “I'm an engineer, I can do no wrong , check out this email I'm going to send, I'll make sure I'll send it to everyone on the network, I will load it up with pictures of my friends wedding, 114 megabytes? That doesn't sound like a lot. Send.” Then you see your Friday night change from going out with friends to sitting in your cubical and cleaning mess up. One thing engineers are great at is standing behind you and breathing down your neck while you try and remove the virus they unleashed on their computers. Huffin, puffin, and making snarky comments like “well the virus scan YOU installed on the computers should have detected it.” or “ we spend so much on IT every year, how can YOU guys let something like this happen?” Life is great.
Then it hits you, somewhere between the time you're banging your head against a wall or grinding your teeth, that you should have listened to your wise and brilliant friend. He warned you of the black hole that is IT. He told you “ Armen, IT work crushes dreams, stay way”. Now he owns a multi-million dollar software development company and you're stuck installing RAM. He spends nights with his many girlfriends on his 11 million dollar yacht, looping around the Caribbeans while you spend your nights rebooting servers and mopping the floor. IT work crushes dreams, stay away.
-Reza Shirazian
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