Outpost: Fort van Rathburn

Thought I’d continue the street & prefix tradition out here in Ontario. A little bit of continuity while we’re all off in separate directions.

Well it’s the solstice!! And even though it's the longest night of the year I still feel like celebrating. It’s nice knowing that there’s nothing but more hours of sunlight to look forward to. Who knows? Me and Lisa might be able to see some sun on our walk to or from our labs… it’ll be a nice change.

I’m feeling pretty optimistic these days. Maybe it’s looking back and seeing how things have just managed to fall into place. I stumbled into an amazing house by luck alone, found a great program and pretty much just ended up surrounded by absolutely fantastic people.

So cheers to that, and to things always turning out in the long run, no matter how many little pockets of bad luck you run into. Here’s hoping you all have wonderful holidays!!

Musings

It's a sunday night and -40 outside. Walking about today in frigid air, as the sun gleamed and sparkled against the the snow, I felt somewhat Canadian... and pretty hardcore for being out in such extreme weather conditions. It wasn't that bad... well, other than the long underwear beneath my jeans making them two sizes too small. I came home to a hot cup of tea, some of Beth's sinfully delicious Sacher Bars and nestled with a short book called "The Last Lecture" by Randy Pausch. For those of you who don't know, the book is based upon a lecture given by a professor at Carnegie Mellon. Often professors are given the opportunity to give a lecture as if it was their last. In Randy's case, it truly was his last as he was told he had just months to live after pancreatic cancer had metastasized into his liver. I knew this book was going to be a bit of a tear jerker but I think it is a universal book for anyone of any age as the personal anecdotes that the author shared can be applied or relatable to every individual in their own unique way. In light of the events that have occurred to me over the last year, both great and small, many of the standards by which I attempt to live my life by were iterated eloquently in this book. There are a few quotes I would like to share from this book that I think carry meaning with everyone, and perhaps I should follow most of this as well:

Don't complain, just work harder

 - Time is limited, and time wasted upon whining will not help us to achieve our goals, nor any happier.

Don't obsess over what other people think

Watch what they do, and not what they say

- Apparently the best dating advice for a girl is that if a guy is romantically interested her, she should just ignore everything they say and pay attention to what they do. 

Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted

Loyalty is a two - way street.

Tell the truth. All the time.

No job is beneath anyone

If you can find your footing between two cultures, sometimes you can have the best of both worlds.

Brick walls are there for a reason - to give us a chance to show badly we want something.

Look for the best in everyone, sometimes it just takes time for it to come out.

Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity

The best shortcut is the long way - work hard.

Most people who have told a lie think they got away with it, when in fact, they didn't.

Sometimes, all you have to do is ask. 

Hope that gives some food for thought. Keep warm. 

How to convey anger with a world leader in the middle east

Jake vs Reza

Here is another arm wrestling match between me and Jake. (not safe for work language)

Ode to Dog - Merry Christmas

If You Can..

If you can start the day without caffeine;
If you can get going without pep pills;
If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains;
If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles;
If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it;
If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time;
If you can forgive a friend's lack of consideration;
If you can overlook it when those you love take it out on you when,
through no fault of your own, something goes wrong;
If you can take criticism and blame without resentment;
If you can ignore a friend's limited education and never correct him;
If you can resist treating a rich friend better than a poor friend;
If you can face the world without lies and deceit;
If you can conquer tension without medical help;
If you can relax without liquor;
If you can sleep without the aid of drugs;
If you can honestly say that deep in your heart you have no prejudice
against creed or color, religion or politics; then, my friend, you are
almost as good as your dog.

It could always be worse

Art!

There are some amazing examples of body painting out there. My favourite has usually been a poster for Pink Floyd with album artwork painted on women's backs. Whenever I thought of getting this poster though, someone usually gives me a funny look and asks me why I want posters of half naked women in my room. Sigh.

But Daniele Guido is an artist I just discovered who does amazing body-paintings - especially on hands!

So cool, and definitely worth checking out.

Reza's stolen pictures.

Here is a list of unfortunate company logos or advertisements I stole from random websites. Makes you wonder how much it costs to hire someone so things get double checked before they head out.














Back to work.

Imagine what you can do if you just believe in yourself

Yes, it's a little bit long, but worth the watch.

You know how bats and dolphins see? They use their ears.

So does this guy:

Changes come, keep your dignity

Or

“music Beth loves that you’ve probably never heard of” (part I).

Or

“reasons not to drop that wine bottle.”

Sadly, watching the music video doesn't really add anything to the music. I'd make a big point about this being an independent unsigned label... but then again, most music videos out there are crap.

Take the high road.

Substance

Substance over comes appearance, race, age or any physical handicap. It will bridge the unbridgeable and lead to brilliant and unimaginable things. Be a person of substance.


An army of 20 year olds could rock out to your tune when you're 65.

japanese CAN DANCE!

but i cannot dance like that......

so, should i visit NY, toronto? or stay here?

i have to make a decision soon.

Fort battle for supremacy

results: make sure your speakers are on!

Just in case you have a few extra things lying around

air vocal

that's funny

Rollercoaster Souvenir Photos

Here are some roller coaster souvenir photos I stole from The Chive















Back to work :(

In the Holiday Spirit

"Nicholas was...
older than sin, and his beard could grow no whiter. He wanted to die.
The dwarfish natives of the Arctic caverns did not speak his language, but conversed in their own, twittering tongue, conducted incomprehensible rituals, when they were not actually working in the factories.
Once every year they forced him, sobbing and protesting, into Endless Night. During the journey he would stand near every child in the world, leave one of the dwarves' invisible gifts by its bedside. The children slept, frozen in time.
He envied Prometheus and Loki, Sisyphus and Judas. His punishment was harsher.
Ho.
Ho.
Ho."

- Neil Gaimon, from "Smoke and Mirrors"

Dark and twisted humour is really entertaining to me these days. Apparently the author had this printed on his Christmas cards one year. I'd like to think I'm not quite that bitter or cynical... yet.

Random track #1

Lets jazz things up a bit



Artist: Matt Dusk
Song: Back In Town

Palin's new gig: Improvisational Jazz Singer

While we're jazzing things up:
Funny, made me lol.

The hell that is CPSC

I have a pretty hefty operating system assignment due on Friday. So last night I check the prof's website for tips and as I’m going through the marking scheme for the assignment I realize that the prof hasn’t been able to do the assignment himself. However the funniest part of the whole thing is the last paragraph :

This was truly an evil and nasty assignment. My fault. Way too much
to handle in the short time available. If anyone came up with a complete
and brilliant solution, please allocate 5 bonus marks, and let them
teach this course next year!

Lols all around. Carey’s awesome.

Catch phrase of the month: Pulling a Sarah Marshall

To pull a Sarah Marshall or to Sarah Marshall someone is defined as:

Ditching a long term significant other for someone completely different, only to go back to them when they start seeing someone else.


Now if enough people watch the movie, I can see this catching on.

Untitled.

(I should probably thank Reza for the intro rather than making fun of his spelling but one is infinitely more fun than the other.)

Today's Motivation:


(Also fits the spirit of this blog at the moment.)

And in the same spirit, seeing as it's Tuesday.... wine and cheese anyone?

Two new writers!

The Fort is proud to announce that we have two amazing new writers: Beth and Lisa.

These two lovely ladies live above us and will contribute to the blog from now on. I won`t say much about them cause they can do a better job of that.

However I will say that it`s going to be different reading posts without spelling mistakse for once.

Welcome ladies, it`s nice to have the upstrairs unit on board.

Top worst 5 music videos I've come across on youtube.

5:
Any music video from the 70s that has a guy in his 30s, sporting a mustache and tights qualifies. Hot Indian chicks and the catchy tune are a plus, but there's something unsettling about the keyboardist that just makes this so bad it's good.



4:
I couldn't watch more than 10 seconds of this, so if gets any better I'm sorry. It's probably a fake music video too.



3:
Your mama's on crack rock! no my mama's on rehab yo!



2:
This one is not actually a music video, but it's by far one of the most amazing things I have ever seen. I thought it was fake at first but sonseed was an actual band in the 80s. I read somewhere the band broke up 5-6 years later, Sal (vocal, bassist) divorced his wife( keyboard) and now lives alone and is very bald. Not sure if he's still friends with Jesus.



1:
I'm not sure about the story behind this one, but apparently this is not a joke. The woman in this video was very serious about what she was doing. I think she's cute.

Distracted Driving Laws

Oh December. This month brings many things - advent calendars, awkward holiday parties, hopefully some snow to go with the cold - but to Ontario, December also marks the start of a ban on using cell phones while driving.

“To illustrate his point, [Bradley] hopped into a driving simulator while making a cellphone call with one hand on the wheel, ended up going the wrong way and crashed into a wall.”

- Toronto Star

I totally see a point here. Unfortunately, I don’t think the point that Transportation Minister Jim Bradley was trying to make was that he is, in fact, a complete idiot.


Initially, this ban might seem to be a stellar idea. There's been a few times I've nearly ended up in a flaming wreck at the side of the 401 when someone decides that checking their text messages is more important than checking their blind spot. Unfortunately, this ban doesn't cover 'hands-free' devices, because that'd be too hard to enforce. Police can't tell the difference between someone singing along to the radio, talking to a passenger, 'reciting a speech', or talking on a hands-free device. So any idiot with a headset can just laugh at this law and continue on their merry way. Luckily, there's a cheap solution for the rest of us.

hands-free = legal

The most frustrating part of this ban is the inclusion of music devices like iPods and MP3 players. Why not ban CD players, tape decks, and radios too? I could argue that I am just as likely, if not more, to get into an accident while flipping stations and changing CDs trying to find something decent to listen too - but I'm not a complete retard and don't do that to the point where I'd be distracted while driving (while I'm in the passenger seat it's another story). But driving I can usually just plug in my MP3 player with a decent playlist and not bother with it for the entire drive. Luckily, the "hands free" aspect gets to come into play again! And people are asking the tough questions:

'Asked if a motorist could skirt the law by taping his iPod to the dashboard, Bradley wasn't sure."I would have to look at that one," Bradley told reporters.' -Toronto Star

Don't get me wrong, I'm all for road safety. I'm just against the government acting like an incompetent babysitter by trying to impose stupid regulations with gigantic loopholes. I would really, really like to think that people have the capacity to make their own judgement calls when it comes to something as mundane as music while driving.

Or in other words, 16 days to figure out the best way to attach my MP3 player to my dashboard.

So I hear you wana get down with the WOLFMOTHER?

Spending hours behind a computer tweaking variables and writing endless codes is practically impossible without some solid music. No inspiring music can easily lead to insanity and trying to work variable pointers could possibly end with a computer out the window. Therefor every project, assignment or paper has to comes with an appropriate playlist. right now Wolfmother is leading the pack for my city project. They've been one of my favorite bands of all time. When I first heard them I thought to myself “Wow I guess music this awesome didn't stop with Zeppelin.”

So it was sad to hear that they split up. However they are in the process of regrouping. Hopefully the new line up will be as good as the last one.

Here is “Mind's Eye" and a link to the actual music video.

Yesterday is history, tomorrow's a mystery and today is a gift, hence why it is called the present

As the longest standing member at the Haus of McMorley, (or Fort as we have so affectionately monikered it), I feel it is appropriate to contribute to this publication from our institution. Previous posts seem to be about a wide range of topics from traffic to pro-life. Waking up this Sunday morning sans hangover (much to the shigrin of Beth, I'm sure), I reflect on the changes in my own life as of late and the recent events that have happened to me that have influenced my outlook on life. It is so easy to to become obsessed with one's own problems, dilemmas and troubles thus neglecting the people or life around you. It is even easier to get caught up in what other people are judging you on and to blame yourself rather than to think logically about situations when they occur. I have been so blessed this year to be surrounded by so many wonderful people to catch me when I fall or to pull me up from the depths; to teach me how it is ok to fail and that there are friends that are true. In an attempt to stay open-minded and out of the trap of "self-absorption", I try with each day and each event that happens,  to draw meaning and a life lesson. The most recent one? This week has been full of stress from all facets of life, including, but not restricted to: cramming experiments for a project that has taken more than 2 years, the discovery of my ineligibility for major federal funding for my degree, a recent MI in the family etc. The lesson? Each moment is fleeting. I could die tomorrow (given my family's poor cardiac history). Enjoy every day to the fullest and cherish the life and people you are given. I'm sure you've heard it all before but only after you come to the realization on your own, does life become brighter, more colourful and wonderful with every breath.

Can't get you out of my head

My project for CPSC 589 is to procedurally model a city. At first it might sound like a Sim City type game, however a computer playing Sim City is a better representation of what I'm trying to do. Basically I'm going to get the computer to build a city from ground up with roads, buildings, parks and maybe a lake or two.

Who would ever use such a thing? Kylie Minogue for one. A professionally developed version of what I'm trying to do is responsible for the city she drives through in “Can't get you out of my head”.



Anything for you Kylie.

Almost Transformers

I used to love transformers and followed it religiously. Two years ago I downloaded a couple of episodes for its nostalgic value and was surprised to see how dumb it was. I guess I've changed more than I thought. Either way, this is not really related to the actual show, but it put a smile on my face when I came across it.

Real update

Wow, we totally missed out on October and most of November. Oh well, I guess a combination of having fun and having more fun is responsible for lack of updates. Either way, I've personally been very happy with the way my last semester is shaping up. I wanted to leave with a bang and it's been an amazing experience. I have to thank my sister for the most part, if she hadn't hooked me up with her crackberry, I probably wouldn't have the social life I'm having. So thanks sis, and if I fail out of school, blames gonna come your way.

I've been blessed too in many ways. I ended up living with an amazing group of people. I already knew I had nothing to worry about when it came to Armen, but everyone else was a toss up. I got nothing but a perfect roll with my housemates. They're all amazing and it's been an awesome experience living with them. And looking back, I wouldn't want to have it any other way.

I've been pretty lax with school work, not really aiming for the high marks. I may have let school get in the way of my education in the past, but I have achieved a perfect balance this semester. I haven't missed a lecture and should be able to finish off my school with a decent (comp sci decent) gpa. I also started working out at the beginning of the semester and managed to stick to my schedule. Which is pretty good cause I've let stupid stuff get in the way of my workout and eventually place me on a slippery slope of coming up with excuses of skipping it.

The only thing that slipped through my fingers this semester was this blog. Which is a shame, cause I had high hopes of making something special out of it. Oh well I guess it's still not too late.

Don't feed the troll

After spending five years at U of C, I've gotten used to the annual Pro-Life shock displays. It's easy to sit back and come up with arguments on how they're wrong, but that's not why I'm writing this. My beef today is with the Pro-Choicers. The ones who hold up signs and get in to arguments with the Pro-Lifers. Why? You have won the battle. Canada is a Pro-Choice country. What the Pro-Lifers are doing is nothing short of beating a dead horse. Most of us are with you guys so why waste your energy arguing with delusional people who have to resort to shock displays to get attention. If you're really passionate about women's right to choose then there are much greater battles to fight. Stop arguing inane nut jobs in the cold. even though we live in a country where women can exercise their right to choose, not all of them have access to facilities and the information needed to do so. Helping women in small towns and rural areas should be the Pro-Choicer front. If anyone really wants to make a difference there are Pro-Choice organizations in Canada who would love your support. If you have time, you can volunteer for them, if not you can donate to them. Get involved cause that's a battle worth fighting. Check out the following sites for more information:

http://www.canadiansforchoice.ca/

http://www.arcc-cdac.ca/

http://www.prochoiceactionnetwork-canada.org/

Why Fort McMorley?

Fort McMorley in all its glory....


So why Fort McMorley?
Simple:

Fort = forts are cool and we like living in one.
Mc = meaning “son of” or “decedent of”
Morley = Name of our street.

So Fort McMorley = a random brain fart on my part that just ended up working well.

I Want To Love You Tender!! (watch high)

Oh No! not the beak!

update

Ike!

Hurricane Ike has been battering the Texan coast for a couple of hours now. For us up here in Calgary we're blessed by the rocky mountains (and lack of any shores) that shield us from hurricanes. Which is kinda sad depending how you look at it. Check out this picture I found of some dude in Galveston, Texas.



He makes riding 100 mile per hour winds seem kinda fun.

Challenged Drivers

I’ve done quite a bit of driving over the course of the summer. On a few occasions, I drove from Calgary, AB to Kelowna, BC return. That’s about 700 km each way. Needless to say, one would expect to see all kinds of drivers over the course of the expeditions. Some are fast. I’ve seen 18 wheelers zip along the Trans-Canada at 150+ km/h. I’ve seen motorcycles zigzag through traffic, including taking advantage of such areas as: the right shoulder, the left shoulder, on the lane divider, and so on. Good job guys, keep it up!

I’ve also seen extremely slow drivers. Slow driving is fine, and safe. Then how on earth do these people mess that up? People take it too far and create hazards. I’ve seen the flow of traffic going at about 120 km/h, and there’d be somebody driving at 80 km/h. The roads were busy. While coming around a bend, cars had to nearly swerve to avoid a collision.

So far, I’ve talked about driving habits that aren’t very correctable. I’m going to talk to you about some typical driving mistakes, and how to deal with them in an extremely effective manner.

1) The Lingering Signal Light



These people are probably listening to their music while chatting on their iPhones while adjusting the radio and eating a soy burger at the same time. Or they can be old men, ears beat out from the 70s, sitting there oblivious to the incessant tick-tock of the signal light. (Hi, Dad)

The Solution: Kindly pass them, and then get in front of them. Next, turn on your signal light in the right direction for 10 seconds. Change to the left signal light for 10 seconds. Now back again. Repeat.

Eventually, the old man will think: “What is this guy doing, is he dumb?” Then just to make sure, he will check his own dashboard, and realize what a goober he is.

2) The Fast Lane Slow Driver



This person is probably driving the speed limit, or even slightly above it. They probably have some shitty sticker on their bumper. They figure they are driving fast enough to be in the fast lane. After all, compared to the speed limit, they are going slightly higher than recommended. Forget that there is a lineup of 50 cars behind them in the fast lane, wanting to drive faster. This guy doesn’t feel like moving.

At this point, people will either pass him on the left (subjecting themselves to opposing traffic), or pass on the right (assuming a slow right lane is present and unoccupied. Right shoulder passing maneuvers are strongly discouraged)

The Solution: Kindly pass them, and then get in front of them. Next, slow down to about 10 km/h slower than them. This will make them think: “What is this asshole doing? This is the fast lane, and I’m driving fast.” Then, he will realize his mistake, and pull over to the proper, slow lane, and hopefully head home and never drive again.

------------------------------------------------------------------

Stick to these rules and you’ll start to see impressive results. Note: Some people might get mad at you. Don’t worry about this; you’ll probably never see them again. And if you do, you can explain to them why they are sadly subpar in their driving skills. Now how do we deal with people that speed up when being passed, tailgaters, people that sit way too close to their steering wheels, people that haul a bunch of untethered junk on their cars, people that yield in a merge lane….?

Welcome future drop outs!

With the weather being so nice, I've been walking outside. Something that will soon become impossible with the coming Calgary winter. During one of these walks, I came across a big banner that's hanging between Mac Hall and Science Theaters. “Welcome Future Alumni." Are you kidding me? I remember during my orientation, first year, back eons ago when I used to be young lad, a speech that was given by the dean of the university. (I still don't know his name, the guy with the beard) He specifically said more than 60% of you guys will not be with us next year. We here at university of Calgary have a 60% drop out rate of first years! Now I'm not much in to stats, it was one of my least favorite classes, but that's an awfully large number. So it's amusing to see how optimistic the university is when it comes to their first years. What this means for first years, is that if university was a game they would have a 60% chance of losing. Or if it was a coin and they were to flip it 10 times, it would show “get the hell out of our university” six times. Those odds suck. They suck more than the odds you get at the casinos.

...But I like it. There are a lot of people who manage to crack through the flawed high school/day care system. People who think it's still cool to not care about their classes, or act like they HAVE to be here. filter them out. I like having an extra chair to put my foot on during classes.

The fort.

School has started and we're working at full capacity here at the fort. Cause of that I personally haven't had a chance to sit down and think about something meaningful to rant about. For the past two days I've been going through my first classes and becoming familiar with my final four courses. Everything else has been pretty quiet here. We're still looking to develop the desolate empty space between my quarter and Armen's. All that we have right now is a chair (very uncomfortable), a coffee table, two end tables and a TV with no cable. I honestly would be very surprised if I see that TV turned on at any point during my stay.



As far as our kitchen goes, I think we're pretty lucky. For the first time since I've moved out, I've had the pleasure of living in a place that comes with a dishwasher. I'm also very proud to see how clean and tidy our kitchen has been for the past week.




This is the fort. More the come

The Most Powerful Word

The Most Powerful Word in Any Language

Every language has it. Modern civilization and society are built upon it. Having the ability to express remorse for wrong doing has profound implications. There is a universal need for the concept of “sorry”. In fact, many languages can express this one idea in many different ways. Sorry, excuse me, pardon me, forgive me, my apologies, and so on.

This situation begs the question – why bother with this word? Why is it so ubiquitous? The answer is simple: it is one of the features of humans (through our invention of language) that allows us to cooperate on an ongoing basis.

There are many situations where us, and our ancestors, have perhaps done something by accident, thereby wrong-doing some other person. Most of the time, we didn’t intend for somebody else to get hurt. Or, we had no other choice. Our way of dealing with these unfortunate occurrences is to use a universal signal of regret.

Imagine, for a minute, that if you had done something wrong, and you knew it was wrong after the fact, and you could not apologize for what you did? If you accidentally step on a person’s foot, you can say nothing. If you accidentally cut somebody off in traffic, you cannot give the “sorry wave”. If you accidentally let a door shut in your friends face, you cannot say sorry.

“Sorry” gives us the opportunity to rectify the situation. It shows that we are aware of what happened, we realize it was wrong, and that we regret that it happened. It is built into our nature to respond positively to apologies. In society as a whole, we accept apologies and give forgiveness. This is a mutually beneficial situation, as the actor (the apologizer) and the victim (the forgiver) both end up better off. The apologizer can clear his conscience knowing that he has done the right thing, and the forgiver is able to understand that the apologizer sincerely regrets the situation.

By this point, most people would agree that apologies are a necessary part of society. But this leads us into another question – should parents apologize to their children?

It is well known that children model their parents, and inherit characteristic attributes and mannerisms of their parents. Children look to their parents to show them how to act.

Some people argue that because of this very fact, parents shouldn’t apologize to their children under any circumstance. By apologizing, you are admitting fault. How can one expect children to model their parents if they are “faulty?” You must portray an image of perfection and infallibility to your children. That way, they will respect you and consider you as a leader and a role model.

I argue that apologies must be given when warranted. Respect isn’t something that can be demanded, only earned. By not reciprocating apologies to your children, you are showing them, the children you love, that you do not respect them enough to apologize. Children embody their parents, and even take on positive and negative attributes. How can you expect your child to grow up to be a courteous, apologetic individual if you do not apologize to him yourself? Children need to realize that even their parents can be wrong at times, and apologizing is the right thing to do if a wrongdoing was committed, regardless of who the victim was.

In the event that I am wrong, I will not hesitate to apologize to my children. Only then will they respect me as I respect them.

Posters

One of the more memorable moments of living in residence was moving-in and moving-out. When you're moving-in you're excited about the year ahead of you, the people you will meet and the things you will learn. This excitement, at least for me, helped cope with the back breaking labor that comes with actually moving in. Moving boxing up and down stairs, pushing shopping carts and hooking up your computer is no cake walk. However no deadlines, and being able to crowd your room at a steady pace through out the year helps with the whole process. Moving out on the other hand is another story. Within 24 hour of your last final exam, you're responsible for returning your room the way you received it, dismantling eight months worth of decoration. Having to say goodbye to the room can be heartbreaking and is usually followed by the realization of how you will most likely misplace half your stuff, break a couple of things and ruin all your posters.

For these reasons alone, in the past two years I have followed a strict policy of living light. The policy itself is very simple, move in all the stuff you need and leave behind what you don't. As simple as it might sound there is a slippery slope when it comes to deciding what is necessarily and what is not. For examples, my xbox and playstation 2 are unnecessary, therefor I don't take them out of storage. Old notes, binders and textbooks are unnecessary, therefore they stay behind. Things like printer, laptop and winter clothing are necessary so every year when I move in, they'll participate in my academic quest. But other stuff like the TV, or my monitor ( I've been using a laptop instead of a desktop for a while now) fall in between.

Moving in to Fort McMorley however changed everything. Such a move had to be accompanied by a new and revised edition of the policy. This time around I turned my strictly light policy to a more lenient one. However one of the things I kept on the unnecessarily pile regardless, were posters. They're a bitch to take off and a pain to pack. They don't fit in any sized box and are prone to being damaged. With that in mind it was decided that my walls will be kept naked and my four month stay in Fort McMorley will be a poster-less one. Until I saw this:



It was love at first sight. Not love in a sense of how I would love to be hitting up this chick. But in a sense of how this one image was encompassing all the themes to my university life. Explaining all the aspects of how that is so, would result in a very long post. Someone who knows me very well however would agree that this poster was made with me in mind. When I first saw it, I knew this poster was not like other posters. Of all the unnecessaries, this poster would be a necessary. A sense of one-nites(sp?) was formed and I knew I should get it. But no matter how relevant and perfect it was, it was still a poster. I was split between showing a weakness of character by flip-flopping on my own promise to myself or sticking to my no poster policy. I decided to let it go. I said to myself, if tomorrow, I still feel the way I do today, I will buy it. I walked away...

IT crushes dreams

IT crushes dreams, grinds it to bits, burns it to dust and then takes a dump on it. It's not surprising to see IT's regarded as one of the most stressful careers in North America. Every years thousands of Americans waste best years of their lives learning the trade, all in hope of a stable and safe career. They spend endless hours behind computers, tweaking settings and trial'n erroring random tricks just to make it work. After all the router juggling and RAM installing, when a hire-able level of ITness is reached, they move from college labs to company cubicles. Here begins an exciting journey of more sitting, tweaking, installing, juggling and trial'n erroring. However this time around their work is no longer like the assignments they got in school. It no longer consist of company x wanting to set up an extensive network of computers, servers, printer, scanner and other office worthy gadgets. But instead it's endless hours of sitting around waiting for the dumb secretary up front to forget her password or the old fart up in management wanting to go over why he shouldn't download “The Cool Aquarium Screen Saver” he got in his email... for the 500th time. The complexity and challenge of IT work diminishes as days go by. Dumb secretaries finally learn how to remember a password and the old fart management guys give up on their computers all together. What you're left with is your life withering away in front of a computer. Arguing why IT budgets should not be cut becomes your only ever improving skill. You can no longer carry a conversation with a woman cause it's a fact that IT workers never get ass and have to resort to Japanese anime for any form of female interaction (maybe not even that). You also can never get over the fact that being in IT does not have the “panty-dropping” feel that comes with being a software engineers. Something you could have been, and probably would have been great at it too.

Which brings me to my other point. If your company is blessed by an engineering division you're worse off. Although the idea that working with engineers results in less argument and headache might seem natural the opposite becomes your reality. These self righteous group of tinker-heads tend to look down upon anyone who didn't spend half a semester in college designing hammers. They refuse to accept that they're mortals and prone to mistakes and god forbids if someone knows something that they don't. They sit behind computers thinking “I'm an engineer, I can do no wrong , check out this email I'm going to send, I'll make sure I'll send it to everyone on the network, I will load it up with pictures of my friends wedding, 114 megabytes? That doesn't sound like a lot. Send.” Then you see your Friday night change from going out with friends to sitting in your cubical and cleaning mess up. One thing engineers are great at is standing behind you and breathing down your neck while you try and remove the virus they unleashed on their computers. Huffin, puffin, and making snarky comments like “well the virus scan YOU installed on the computers should have detected it.” or “ we spend so much on IT every year, how can YOU guys let something like this happen?” Life is great.

Then it hits you, somewhere between the time you're banging your head against a wall or grinding your teeth, that you should have listened to your wise and brilliant friend. He warned you of the black hole that is IT. He told you “ Armen, IT work crushes dreams, stay way”. Now he owns a multi-million dollar software development company and you're stuck installing RAM. He spends nights with his many girlfriends on his 11 million dollar yacht, looping around the Caribbeans while you spend your nights rebooting servers and mopping the floor. IT work crushes dreams, stay away.

-Reza Shirazian